"Those Cereal Buddies think they're so great with their judgmental breakfast cereal empire, supplemented by a domain name and blog...But where would they be without their precious pasteurized milk and spoons and bowls?
"Offended we are that the membership to this established institution of breakfast snobbery has not been offered to us! Thusly, we would like to announce the formation of a new, rival breakfast-related club:
"POP TART PIRATES!
"We are now accepting applications for participation in this new breakfast group. Membership is limited to 8, as this is the number of Pop Tarts in a standard package. Cereal Buddies may not join Pop Tart Pirates, but they may challenge us to lightsaber battles, beauty pageants involving the corn hat, or question us on our abundant knowledge of Jonathan Frakes' acting career.
"Our special day of Pop Tart appreciation will be every Monday, beginning next Monday. Each week, a member will be required to purchase a box of these delightful toaster pastries, which will be divided, toasted, and savored by our pirate brothers and sisters. We too, will have a blog and even a MySpace page (ha! muahaaha!), but you can keep your precious milk and eating equipment. All we require is an electric toaster (invented 1893, Crompton and Company, Leeds, England) and our beloved hands, and perhaps our medication to suppress our overwhelming excitement, if necessary.
"Did you know that there is a Strawberry Milkshake flavored Pop Tart? Beat that, Cereal Buddies! Ha! You can't, can you?
"All Pop Tart Pirate potentials, please let us know if you are interested! We are seeking 6 glorious members with godlike tastebuds and wit for immediate consideration.
"We thank you for your lifelong commitment and support, comrades!
Elizabeth & Beth"
1 comment:
thanks for the link back!
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